Some girls talking
girl1: He's taking advantage of you.
girl2: I'm only lending him the $800
girl1: But he only needs it to pay the cops, then he's going to dump you!
girl1: And he's sleeping with his ex-girlfriend!
girl2: He's only sleeping on her floor while he's looking for a new place.
girl1: [actually slaps girl2 due to exasperation]
Some girls who work at Shaw technical support...
girl1:"I had a customer complaining that everyone was short and fat. And I thought he was a nut job. But it turned out he was watching everything set in widescreen on a normal TV."
girl2: "I spent an hour today trying to teach a guy how to turn his tv off. He said it was grey and not black. We figured out he was only turning his cable box off, not his tv."
A guy and a girl chatting
guy: I may be going to see Slipknot
girl: With your millionaire girlfriend?
guy: She's not my girlfriend.
girl: You should make her your girlfriend
guy: Well, she's kinda tall, and proportionally wide. Still, she'd pay my debts off for me.
guy: She told me she had a dream where she'd had sex with me. I said "How was it?". She said "I woke up happy."
girl: That's not ambiguous is it. You have to date her.